Know why they sell pants in Sweden with buttons instead of zippers? So the sheep can’t hear men sneaking up on them. Alright, well as long as I’ve known that joke it’s been Wyoming, not Sweden. That might change though. In a stunning bit of political barnstorming a member of the Liberal Party in Sweden (that’s Liberal with a capital “L” because who are we kidding, most of the parties in Sweden are liberal) has called for the banning of bestiality. Which, interestingly enough, is not spelled beastiality.
Apparently, Sweden is one of a few countries that doesn’t explicitly ban having sex with animals. I’m sure most people realize that having sex with a sheep or your preferred barnyard animal isn’t a good idea. But I guess the winter’s can be very long, cold, and dark. Clearly, this is a result of geography and the latitude. No way would people stoop to this if it wasn’t so cold and dark right? Of course, the article also tells us that it has become more popular recently. Having sex with animals is becoming more popular? What constitutes popular, and how is it defined? Because I just have a hard time imagining bestiality and popular being uttered in the same sentence. But there it is. In a country that prides itself on being progressive.
Unless this is all a progressive attempt by the farmers of Sweden to create a super-animal. Some sort of strange breeding program that just hasn’t come to light yet. Or there are just some seriously sick people in the world. No matter what part of the world you find yourself in.
My favorite quote from the article at TheLocal.se is “‘[w]hat most people think of is the classic image of cows in a shed. But having spoken to a number of veterinarians, I know that it is smaller animals such as dogs and cats that are most at risk,’ Ertsborn told The Local.” Oh a classic image indeed. Who doesn’t imagine a creepy farmer sneaking up on a lone cow in a shed?
Oooh, I’ve got another one for you. Sweden, where men are men and sheep are nervous. Get it? Because the men want to have sex with the sheep. Get it? Oh man, that’s funny stuff. The tourism board here in Stockholm should probably use that one. I’m sure it would bring in a whole lot of new clientele to Stockholm and the surrounding countryside.
Seriously though, this blows my mind. Why is this not illegal? Who thinks it is a good idea to schtoink a cow? Or a dog? I mean seriously. It’s only a short trip down to Amsterdam if the need should arise. Ryan Air flies cheap.
What might be the saddest commentary on this issue is that there is a petition started in order to influence more politicians. Isn’t this one of those things that should just be put into law the second someone brings a complaint? Is there anything to discuss here? People should not have sex with small animals, or even big animals for that matter. That a petition has to be started rather than someone in the ruling party just deciding that “Hey, sex with animals isn’t cool, and most of the civilized world has banned it. Let’s follow suit,” is kind of disconcerting.
I have faith though, in the Swedish government here in Stockholm. Say no to bestiality. And beastiality. And all forms of having sex with beasts.