Wednesday, April 15, 2009

My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day in Stockholm

Yesterday was not a good day. From a purely selfish standpoint.

First, I sliced open my finger on some cardboard at work. And by finger, I mean the flesh right under my finger nail. I still don’t know how I did it. Now it hurts to type. And I bled all over some boxes at work. Which is always nice for someone to stumble across. Let’s be perfectly honest, paper (or in this case cardboard) cuts are annoying. But they are not enough to make for a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. And certainly not enough to make me want to move to Australia as Judith Viorst might have you believe. But come on now, it wasn’t just a cardboard cut.

I made it through the rest of my work day without injuring myself further. And then I came home. I wanted dinner. And began ravaging my cupboards looking for something quick to eat. When I do this, I have a tendency to leave food out on the counters. For hours on end. I have a tendency to not put my dishes away. For hours on end. I have a tendency to leave cupboard doors open. For hours on end.

And it was because of this that I managed to walk smack dab into a cupboard door. Leading with my head. In an anger reserved only for those embarrassing moments when you are pissed at yourself, I slammed the cupboard door shut. Only to realize I wanted more food from the cupboard. So I opened it again. And walked away.

When I wandered into the kitchen next time, well, you know exactly what happened. I slammed my head against the cupboard door again. I am an idiot. Now we are getting closer to a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day and a subsequent move to Australia.

But it got even worse.

I had been sporting a full beard for a while. Usually I just go with the goatee but I was feeling mountainous. And awesome. And the beard was awesome. I’m not going to lie to you.

However, to celebrate the spring I decided it was time to trim it up. And by trim I mean use my beard clippers on the shortest setting. This was the equivalent of shaving for me. A full beard and sun usually makes for a sweaty neck. And no one likes sweaty necks. So off it came.

Because of the strange set-up of electricity in my bathroom, I have to use an extra converter to make my beard trimmer work. So I am using a Swedish converter on an already Swedish plug. It works well. Except my converter is old. And sometimes gets stuck with only the metal part in the outlet.

As we have already established, I am an idiot. And reached up to pull it out. I know electricity is not good for me. I know. But I have not learned. Suddenly, I had electricity coursing through my body. I felt it in my brain. The sad thing, after letting out an involuntary scream, which was of course, very manly, my first thought was not to my safety. Instead, I wondered if I may have gained some sort of super power. As of yet, I have not.

But that was it. That was enough. I started looking for tickets to Australia. I hear people never have Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Days down there.

Welcome to Sweden. And my Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

20 comments:

  1. Wow, that really is a horrible day. And I feel horrible for saying that it literally made me LOL.

    Have any superpowers shown up yet? You could get an unusual power, like Mel Gibson, and be able to hear what women are thinking. =)

    ReplyDelete
  2. My condolences because your day sounds worst than mine, although, I would rather take a smack in the head than having to explain someone above me, who makes more money than me, how to do their job over and over again! *sigh* Hopefully you were able to have a nice supper and relax at home after the incidents. I usually take my aggressions weightlifting at the gym but tonight I had to come home to family drama. Never buy a house with one of your siblings and your mum! Maybe I will join you in moving to Australia...ha ha ha. Néstor.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi again hairy, it is Néstor. I'd like to invite you to my new blog:)

    ReplyDelete
  4. No offence, but this made my day :D

    ReplyDelete
  5. @jessy - it was pretty bad. still no super powers. I'm hoping they might appear this coming weekend. Sometimes it takes a while I think.

    @anonymous (Néstor) - I'll keep your advice in mind. I actually did end up going for a run after all of the excitement, so that seemed to help a bit. Although, Australia is a nice place.

    @Néstor (again) - oooh, I like it. I'll check it out.

    ReplyDelete
  6. @chuyskywalker - none taken at all. Although it might make you a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Person. Or it just means you have a good sense of humor. Obviously.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You poor guy, that sounds awful! Still, if you get an awesome superpower, let me know...especially if it is conducive to world domination. HAHAHAHAHA!

    ReplyDelete
  8. teeheehee I hope you have a better day soon.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I feel sorry for you, but I found this funny, mostly because the title caught my eyes, I know what you were to talk about before I started reading your entry.

    I seriously hope you get some superpowers from that electric blast and maybe that wont make you want to move to Australia, I've heard people have terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days there too.

    ReplyDelete
  10. @Hairy - That "strange set-up o electricity" in your bathroom...might that be the standard lower voltage to prevent you from zapping yourself to death should you connect some electrical equipment of less-than-brilliant condition to it? :) They are intended to be used for electrical razors. And only that.
    Modern bathrooms frequently have 220 volt electrical outlets - but they're only allowed (legal) if they're connected to a jordfelsbrytare...what ever that's called in English. Ground Fault Breaker maybe?

    I'm sure you squealed 'real manly like though :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ouch. Sounds like a bad day aye.

    But im commenting more directly on your encounter with Mr. Electricity. In the future i think it would be for the best if you stay as far away from anything like what happened to ya this time.
    And if you insist on doing it use something that doesnt act as a conduit - plastic and glass is my suggestion - after breaking power to your entire apartment. This is because the fuse charts by your fusebox is not always accurate and you probably dont have the tools to check if the power is off. Checking the lamps whont work for the record since they are as a rule put on a different fuse then outlets.=)

    Its a little known fact to the average Joe but the electricity in your power outlets is MORE then enough to kill you a few times over if you are unlucky. If you get zaped by electricity you should imidietly get to a hospital(dont drive there yourselves), inform them what happened and ask to be hooked up to an EKG until a doctor can check you. This is because the zap can cause both brain and heart problems shortly or a while after the exposure - aswell as creating internal burn injuries. Also try to consume some water if possible since the eletricity can also quickly drop the amount you have in your body.

    Forgive me if i use incorect terminology in places. Im an electrician but ive realy had no reason to read the english names for things since i finished my education.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hey Hairy Swede, since you travel between Sweden and the U.S. a lot, would you mind telling me something? Is the stuff in the Ikeas and H&Ms in Sweden different from the stuff in the Ikeas and H&Ms in the United States? From what I've seen, Sweden keeps all the good stuff but maybe I'm wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I hate to say that I'm a cruel and mean person, but your pain and the after coming description really made my day!

    ReplyDelete
  14. @Xoán-Wahn – still nothing on the superpower front. Im horribly disappointed.

    @Lacey – well, really, its all up hill from a day like that.

    @ladypeace – I suppose that was one of the lessons we learned from Alexander… but Australia would still be cool.

    @Jacob – the strange set-up is actually because the outlet is on the same fixture as my light and is set back a ways. So instead of being flush with the wall, it is set back a few cm making it a bit difficult for my beard trimmer to fit in there.

    And it was a manly scream. Not a squeal. Obviously there is a difference.

    @Johan – That’s the best advice Ive received in a long time. And really interesting. I didn’t know about the water thing.

    On a somewhat different note. How does it work with electricians in Sweden. Are most of them private or are there big companies that employ a lot of electricians?

    @anonymous – I have actually never been to an H&M in the US. But in terms of IKEA, everything seems to be the same for the most pasrt. Obviously there are a few things that differ and the bigger the store the bigger the selection but IKEA seems to be IKEA in the US.

    @Amberly – Well, Im glad to hear that. Not that youre a cruel and mean person but that I made your day.

    ReplyDelete
  15. @Hairy - Realy depends on the kind of electrician you are(industrial, normal or other) but most "normal" electricians work in smaler companies. There can be as many as 3-4 or more in an average sized swedish city. Though there are some big players that hire alot of us like Bravida or the NEA group.

    As for further tips and info about what Mr. Electricity does to you and how to avoid it id recomend the following pages:
    http://www.elsakerhetsverket.se/
    http://www.electricityforum.com/dangers-of-electricity.html
    http://www.pa.msu.edu/sci_theatre/ask_st/010892.html

    Also saw another less then inteligent person on an internet news broadcast who got fried by powerlines - so while im on the subject... You do not always need to touch something with electricity in it to be in danger. Depending on the nature of the electric current and how much water is in the air at the moment electricity can jump several meters and kill you at range... Kinda like a ligthning bolt. So respect the dangers of electricity - its not a toy, you can and will die if you do something stupid or illadvised. Never mess with anything related to electrics you dont know about. Theres a reason why electricians need to study to be alowed to do it.

    ReplyDelete
  16. very interesting. Thanks for the links!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Well you didn't get to go to the ER, which is what I did the other day because I banged my head in a cabinet door. OK, it was a sort of minor injury but I did get a staple in my head. OTOH I didn't get electrocuted.

    ReplyDelete
  18. oh wow... you win. that sounds pretty rough. I try to avoid the ER if at all possible. Ive managed alright so far. Although if I electrocute myself again we'll have to see.

    ReplyDelete
  19. FUNNY STUFF! /BENGT

    ReplyDelete