Friday, November 20, 2009

Looking for Swedish Porn

I should have known better. I should have known that writing the words “Swedish” and “porn” in the same post would cause create a stir.

I am a huge nerd. I use Google Analytics on this blog. Mostly because I like to play with that sort of stuff and now actually have a job in which I use it. Really it keeps me entertained. It also allows me to see what brings people to my blog. Other than my wittiness of course.

Turns out my post about Child Porn in Sweden gave Google some ideas. The wrong ideas, but ideas none the less. Now people looking for Sweden porn or Swedish porn are clicking on Welcome to Sweden. Most are horribly disappointed to find that this Hairy Swede was not exactly the kind of hairy Swede they were looking for. I’ll let that one sink in for a bit...

And a little bit longer...

And that’s enough of that. Gross.

It’s not the people that leave immediately though that confuse me. It’s the ones who stick around for a bit. Maybe read a post or two. What exactly is going through their minds?

“Well here I am, typing one handed hoping to see some naked Swedish girls, but yeah, I think I will read about how dark it is in Sweden right now. Or oooh... let’s read about immigration issues in Sweden. That’s almost as good as naked buxom blonde girls. Almost.”

I’d like to think it’s my amazing titles. Catchy little numbers like: A Swedish Thanksgiving Eulogy to Poseidon or maybe the classic Swedish Death. And Poop. Or maybe my use of the word “glorious” draws them in.

Really I think they just aren’t committed. Committed to finding Swedish porn. So here’s a tip based solely on my knowledge of the Swedish language. And nothing else. Obviously. Svensk is Swedish for Swedish. The Swedish word for porn is porr. Gentlemen (and I use that term so very loosely), good luck. Now move along...

Welcome to Sweden. Where everyone needs a helping hand. Especially those typing one handed.

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19 comments:

  1. Haha, what a cruel little experiment...

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  2. Bahahahahaha! FYI: I am typing with two hands and got here solely based on the recommendation of someone else. All you "rogues" here for blonde boobies, keep on trucking to Svensk Porr.

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  3. Nice work, now you'll have two entries to increase peoples likelihood for finding you, mistakenly..

    I'm sure many will be thankful for the helpful language hint.

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  4. Finns en del klassiker :) Ridskolan... Fäbojäntan...

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  5. You made me laugh so much my three-year-old wanted to know why and I had to lie!

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  6. hahahahahaha...you are such an altruistic soul, you decide to share even if the circumstances of arrival are due to confusion! all the porno-looking people will be grateful to you forever!

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  7. The sad thing is that Swedish porn is actually pretty weak. They are better off sticking with porn produced right here in the old US of A. Unless you are looking for the weird stuff, then you can go to the Germans...

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  8. You'd be amazed how a male standing up for what's decent...can influence other men...much more so than us females. So I say, keep it up. You just might convert a few in need of conversion...away from child porn. Or tell them to go read "The Macho Pardox" by Jackson Katz on the way out. It's entertaining in ways they'd never expect.

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  9. Wait, there's not going to be any porn here?

    **stomps out of blog**

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  10. @Robban – and by cruel you mean awesome.

    @SwedishJenn – good work. Hands above the table!

    @Rachel – its true... this might end up backfiring horribly.

    @anonymous – good work.

    @Antropóloga – just happy to hear that I am encouraging lies to three year olds.

    @TNT – Nobel Peace Prize here I come.

    @*corinne – thats what she said. Ok, sorry, it was just too easy.

    @JD – and now we know. Poor germans.

    @Isle Dance – I should just post a link under Svensk Porr and have it lead to a picture of something really nice. Like puppies and balloons.

    @Stacy – sorry to disappoint...

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  11. The pornoghaphic content of yours brought me back of course. Thanks for that. I was browsing Swedish porn links and said to myself:"Wait a minute, Hairy Swede sounds familiar somehow, wasn't he a porn legend or something?" Then I clicked the link and... the rest is history. :) Good job, Hairy!

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  12. They may just looking for something entertaining so when they learn about this blog and its intellectual author they forget all about porn start reading your posts, telling their, sharing with their friends .lol and By that you're saving them and a lot more from something which is not recommended very often, although one may argue this last point!
    Cheers

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  13. oh good god dude, im so glad i found your blog, Canadian here, studying in Sweden! its so refreshing hearing another westerners opinions about Sweden :D

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  14. @smek - it was college... experimenting... mistakes...

    @Tod - clearly thats whats happening.

    @dee - glad you found it!

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  15. Swedish girls are great! As someone else pointed out though, the German girls are pretty wild lol.:D

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  16. Especially those typing *one-handedly (seeing as it is an adverb you know ;) )

    /Linn

    P.S. Please don't hate me for pointing out that one. It's all fun and games. 'Til someone gets hurt :(

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