…This Church is Prayer Conditioned.
Let that one sink in for a little bit. This is my new life.
Despite the heat in Greeley lately, and despite some people probably describing Greeley as hell, I cannot make a claim to this tag line. Instead, a local Baptist church is to blame. I pass this sign on the way to my old man’s office and I think it is making me angrier every time I pass it. The first time, my brother pointed it out and I laughed. Now, when I drive by, I shake my head in disgust.
On a good day, I might be described as agnostic. But that’s when I’m feeling generous, because when it comes down to it, I don’t believe in God. Or god. Obviously, that clouds my judgment. Part of my disgust with the sign is the pretentious all-knowing undertones. You know, basically the same style I use in my writing. But who are we kidding, the pretentiousness is nothing compared to the ridiculous of the statement itself. Not the weather never changing in hell, but the prayer conditioned.
My brother claims that puns are the lowest form of comedy. My brother makes this claim when I utter a pun of my own. My brother is right. I’m not sure what the church is trying to accomplish. I’d like to think there aren’t actually people who go around worrying that hell will be too hot. I’d like to think there aren’t actually people who go around thinking that prayer conditioned is funny. I’d also like to think that churches not need to stoop to the lowest form of comedy to get people through their doors.
I think I’m wrong. I guess I forgot just what an influence religion has on everyday life here. Especially in Greeley. I could care less if you believe in God. That’s your prerogative. Your belief. Your faith. But don’t be an ass about it. And don’t make bad jokes about it.
Welcome to the US. And bad church signs.
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