This is essentially what I tell my students. You know,
university level indoctrination and all that. And so it was that last week I
packed some Kalles and knäckebröd into my backpack and headed off to school. It’s
always an exciting day, I love the reactions. Some people love it. Some don’t.
And those who don’t, fail life. Not my class, just life.
This year, I got quite a reaction. In fact, it was a
reaction I had never received before. A squeal of sorts. A look of disgust. A
hand flying in the air. And then finally, it was verbalized. There’s a maggot
on my knäckebröd. Really? A maggot? Yup. A maggot. And it’s moving. Really? It’s
moving? Yup. Look. It’s moving. Awesome.
At this point, the knäckebröd in question was in my hand. There
was, in fact, a maggot. It didn’t look to be moving, but I wasn’t about to
argue that point. I once had a boss in Sweden, who, in broken English, liked to
say: You can’t make shit shine. And you can’t make a maggot look better, just
because it’s dead.
But as I stared at it, two thoughts flew through my head.
One. Gross. How did this happen? Two. I should just eat it. I mentioned that my
class was essentially 50 minutes of chaos right? Luckily, my better senses
prevailed as I realized that 50 minutes of chaos would quickly turn to 50
minutes of shit show if I ingested a maggot in front of my students. I chose
instead to empty the knäckebröd and pick out the pieces that looked clean.
I passed the remainder of the knäckebröd and Kalles around.
To my pleasant surprise, and to the credit of 19 first year university
students, the vast majority of students took a bit of knäckebröd and a bit of
Kalles. Some people loved it. Some didn’t. Even a maggot couldn’t change that.
Welcome to Swedish America. And a little extra protein in
your Kalles and knäckebröd.
Subscribe to Swedish Americans in Sweden and America
I hope the students that acutally tasted it after that got some extra credit points???
ReplyDeleteMaggots? In Knäckebröd? It's almost as dry as the Sahara, and there were maggots in it? Weird.
ReplyDelete"Some people love it. Some don’t. And those who don’t, fail life."
ReplyDeleteHaha, bästa på länge!
I am so so glad that you are back and now double the fun with a brother too! I have also tried to bring the Swedish culinary culture to different parts of the world. I most enjoy feeding "djungelvrål" and "turkisk peppar" to foreign friends...
ReplyDeleteAs a poster above noted, Turkisk Peppar is particularly fun to share. Our friend thought he was violently ill after eating one.
ReplyDeleteAwesome blog on teaching Swedish. It is a hard language to grasp if you are American. I know several words from my Swedish mother and her favorite described my hair - skrut!
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work.
Hello!! I'm Junie and your blog is on my list of blogs that are dead but should'nt be:
ReplyDeletehttp://sockeriogat.wordpress.com/2013/02/25/bloggar-som-finns-bloggar-som-inte-finns-och-bloggar-som-borde-finnas-lite-mer/
I don't really know how much swedish you speak or understand, but I just wanted to say that I like your blog very much :)
Hey, nice story. Long time since I was last in Sweden, over 20 years ago. Spent a bit of time in and around Kalmar, loved it there. Time to go back I think.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting how every country seems to have it's own 'native delicacies' that no-one outside of the country knows much about. Scotland for example is known for it's haggis, here in Ireland we have our black pudding and in Sweden I guess you have Kalles Klavier. Well done to you students for eating the bread after the maggot making an appearance - that could have gone badly wrong for you!
ReplyDeleteJoe
Great blog, there aren't too many like it. I have a trip to Stockholm lined up in a couple of months, hopefully I'll make it up to Kiruna and Gallivare for some midnight sun!
ReplyDeleteThe only place I can get Swedish food where I live is at the nearest Ikea!
ReplyDeleteIkea food - Swedish meatballs and berries...mmmm. I used to go there specially just to eat, never mind looking at the furniture!
ReplyDeleteIs this the last that we will hear from Harry Swede???
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, I'm back. And after teaching for four years, none of my student became violently ill from me feeding them, so I've got that going for me on my teaching reviews.
ReplyDeleteKalles creamed caviar, I bought some today. Tasted it. Threw it out. I have been traumitized because the MERE THOUGHT of the disgusting gritty sweet fishy salty incongruous concoction turns my stomach. VIVIL mints helped banish this abomination.
ReplyDeleteNooooooo!!!! Poor little tube of Kalles.
DeleteA friend of mine actually got used to eating it while drunk. The saltiness was just what he wanted. Now he loves the stuff. So apparently Kalles Kaviar is an acquired taste, either through birth or alcohol. Pretty sure science will back me up on that.