As a general rule I consider myself a relatively capable 24 year old guy. I can dress myself. I can clean my apartment. I can buy groceries. I can do my laundry. None of this at a level that I would consider exceptional, but I manage. Sometimes I wonder though.
Like this evening. I decided I needed some veggies in me. I’ve been enjoying some fine cuisine the last few nights. Ramen. Frozen pizza. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a bowl of cereal. It’s the dinner of champions really. So tonight I was going to go all out. Veggies. And some frozen pyttipanna. Because when I mean all out really I mean I wanted some vitamins, not that I was actually going to cook. And even though pyttipanna is basically a classic Swedish dish made of leftover potatoes, onion, and the meat of your choice, and usually served with an egg, I stick with the frozen stuff.
So I scoured my fridge. Which wasn’t that hard because there’s just not a whole lot in there. But there was some broccoli. About a week ago I actually did cook and needed some broccoli. I needed two things of broccoli. Flowers of broccoli? Bouquets of broccoli? Heads of broccoli? Whatever, I needed two, but ended up with three. Because it was a buy two get a third free. And I like free things.
This left me with one (we’re going with) bouquet of broccoli left. And it sat in my fridge. Patiently waiting. Getting tired as the days passed. So today I decided I was going to go for it. I was going to have broccoli with my pyttipanna. So I chopped it up. And I did a damn good job of chopping it. Except now I needed to cook it. I didn’t want to eat it raw. Mostly because I didn’t have any ranch dressing and everyone knows raw broccoli just isn’t worth eating without ranch dressing.
Then I thought I would steam it. One of my buddies in college used to always steam vegetables. But he had a steamer. I do not. Then I thought I might just throw the broccoli into my pyttipanna. But who are we kidding… that sounds kind of gross.
So I fried my broccoli. I threw some oil in a pan, and started frying my broccoli. Then I covered it in cheese. And it was awful. I ate half of it and then couldn’t do it anymore. I threw the rest away. Which pains me. Because I hate throwing away food. But what pains me even more is the glob of broccoli and cheese that is sitting in my gut like I ate a damn baseball.
Welcome to Sweden.