A few days ago I managed to rip my left contact. Which wouldn’t be a big deal if I had some extras lying around. I don’t. Or if it hadn’t been in my eye at the time. It was. Or if I had been able to get the other half out. I wasn’t. Unfortunately, it was a big deal.
After over ten years of wearing contacts, I have trained myself to shove my finger in my eye and not flinch. Evolutionarily speaking, probably not a good idea for the future protection of my eyes. For my eye sight though? Spectacular. That skill allowed me to root around in my eye ball trying to find the other half of my contact. I did not find it though. So I moved to plan B. My mother.
She washed her hand. I sat down, threw my eye open, and she began rooting around in my eyeball. To no avail. Finally, still hurting from jet lag and at this point just really grumpy, having a floating piece of contact lens in your eyeball will do that to you, I went to bed. With the contact lens still in place. Awesome.
I had no problem falling asleep. I did have a problem staying asleep though. And so, I woke up early and decided that instead of getting up I would pop open my computer and try to catch up on e-mails. Which I did. But my grumpiness returned as I realized that I still had a piece of contact in my eye. About an hour later I’d had enough of e-mails and headed to the shower. And then, sweet release. The contact popped out. It looked like a small puss filled larva. It was disgusting. And amazing. And my eye hurt like hell. So glasses it was. Well glasses it was because I didn’t have any other contacts.
Which has proven to be a bit of a problem for me. I don’t have the actual prescription for my contacts. Instead I have the packaging from the contacts I have been using. You know, the one with the prescription written directly on it. I went to my eye doctor, I went to an online distributor, I went to a retailer. All said I had to have the actual prescription. No one explained why. I just thought they wanted me to pay for a new eye exam. Finally, several days after the search began, I was informed that it was required by law. That means that contact lenses are considered to be some sort of controlled substance. Which is ridiculous.
I wasn’t planning on ingesting my contacts. I wasn’t planning on injecting them. Or snorting them. Or smoking them. Glad to see the American public is being protected from those evil substances. Like contact lenses.
But fine, I e-mailed my eye doctor in Sweden because of the time difference. And received no response for two days. So I called on the third. They actually don’t check their e-mail. Which is an excellent service to have then. But they were happy to help and would fax me the prescription. But it didn’t show up. An e-mail did though last night (apparently they have learned how to use that newfangled electronic mail). They can’t fax it. Instead, snail mail it is. And so, my contact prescription is crossing the Atlantic. Still days away.
Welcome to the US. And Swedish-American eye exchange.
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