In one of those moments where you just kind of have to shake your head and say “no shit…” an opinion survey has shown that many think that Swedish men are less masculine than they used to be. No shit…
Thelocal.se reported a few days ago in an article titled “Swedish men 'not as masculine as they used to be': study” that a survey of both sexes in Sweden found that Swedish males have become less masculine. Or maybe not become, but are viewed as being, less masculine.
Of course, if you’ve ever been in Stockholm, you would know that a survey wasn’t necessary. Just walk around Stockholm and take in the sights.
Pants so tight that men everywhere are suffering from moose knuckle (think about it…). Enough pastel colors to think that Easter vomited all over Sweden’s supply of shirts. And the hair. Styled. Styled. Masculinity does not include styling hair. Come on now.
Men in Sweden have gone metro, so much so that 58% of men actually think they are less masculine than they once were with only 13% thinking men are more masculine now than before. I’m not sure what that means. That Swedes are very self-aware. Or maybe that they have just resigned themselves to being metro.
What’s even worse is that the last time I went home I was accused of dressing… European. While maybe not quite metro, it did make me pause. Luckily, my pants aren’t so tight that I suffer from moose knuckle. My shirts are dominated by dark blues. And I haven’t put anything foreign in my hair since an attempt to please a girlfriend way back in 10th grade. Hell, last time I was home my little brother cut my hair for me.
But is that enough? I’m not convinced. I’m afraid that I’ll go back to the US and be unable to adapt. I’ll have a strange fascination with hair gel and a desire to slick back my hair despite my ever expanding cul-de-sacs. I’ll moisturize. I’ll own a loofah. (In an attempt to re-affirm my manliness I didn’t look up how to spell that word even after Microsoft red squigglied it).
Instead, I plan on wearing a baseball cap this weekend. Run a half marathon. Maybe partake in the gallon challenge even. That should put some (more) hair on my chest.
Welcome to Sweden. And my quest to never go metro.
Subscribe to a Swedish American in Sweden