I found another wonderful advertisement on the subways the other day. Another from our friends over at Teknikmagasinet. It was kind of pathetic just how excited I was. And how horribly disappointed I was to not have my camera ready. Which is obviously why I brought it along this morning on my way to work.
The poor ladies sitting right under the ad were nervous. A large man was visibly excited about taking several pictures of an advertisement on the subway. And they sat there quietly. Glancing up as I kept trying to take a non-burry picture while the subway was in motion. You would think that being on tracks would make a subway car easy to steer. It seems you would be wrong. After finally getting a couple of pictures that were halfway decent I put the camera away. At which point one of the ladies got up the courage to look up at whatever it was I was taking a picture of.
I always look up at the ads. In fact, I now make a conscious effort to always read the ads from Teknikmagasinet closely. Of course, I have yet to actually step inside one of their stores so the ads might not be working as they had hoped. But they bring me joy. As we all know, I am a self-centered person and I try to do things that make me happy. Like taking pictures of ridiculous products from Teknikmagasinet. I’m basically an egotistical ass.
This ad might not be quite as intriguing as a nose hair trimmer and an electric shocking gun to celebrate Easter. But I think it can definitely be described as orgasmic. A word that I do not use lightly. Mostly because my mom reads this.
But there, right in front of me was something that no man should be without. And it could be had for only 99 SEK. The Orgasmatron Mini Deluxe. No. It is not a vibrator or dildo. They sell those at Apoteket. This is a head scratcher. Seriously. The Orgasmatron Mini Deluxe Huvudkliare. For 99 SEK you can buy what looks to be a plastic handle attached to beaded tentacles. And use it to scratch your head. That’s money well spent. You know, if you don’t have fingers. Or the ability to grow fingernails. Maybe you are a nail biter with a dry itchy scalp and bad dandruff. This is the product for you.
Unfortunately for Teknikmagasinet, I do not bite my fingernails. Nor do I have dandruff. Instead, I have thin hair that was described as dead grass by my then five year old cousin. I say then because I off-ed her before her sixth birthday after her hurtful comment that still haunts me today.
That’s not true. I like little children and would never eliminate one for insulting my thinning hair. I think. Insult my facial hair… I can make no guarantees.
Welcome to Sweden. And the Orgasmatron.