Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Orgasmic Advertisements in Stockholm, Sweden

I found another wonderful advertisement on the subways the other day. Another from our friends over at Teknikmagasinet. It was kind of pathetic just how excited I was. And how horribly disappointed I was to not have my camera ready. Which is obviously why I brought it along this morning on my way to work.

The poor ladies sitting right under the ad were nervous. A large man was visibly excited about taking several pictures of an advertisement on the subway. And they sat there quietly. Glancing up as I kept trying to take a non-burry picture while the subway was in motion. You would think that being on tracks would make a subway car easy to steer. It seems you would be wrong. After finally getting a couple of pictures that were halfway decent I put the camera away. At which point one of the ladies got up the courage to look up at whatever it was I was taking a picture of.

I always look up at the ads. In fact, I now make a conscious effort to always read the ads from Teknikmagasinet closely. Of course, I have yet to actually step inside one of their stores so the ads might not be working as they had hoped. But they bring me joy. As we all know, I am a self-centered person and I try to do things that make me happy. Like taking pictures of ridiculous products from Teknikmagasinet. I’m basically an egotistical ass.

This ad might not be quite as intriguing as a nose hair trimmer and an electric shocking gun to celebrate Easter. But I think it can definitely be described as orgasmic. A word that I do not use lightly. Mostly because my mom reads this.

But there, right in front of me was something that no man should be without. And it could be had for only 99 SEK. The Orgasmatron Mini Deluxe. No. It is not a vibrator or dildo. They sell those at Apoteket. This is a head scratcher. Seriously. The Orgasmatron Mini Deluxe Huvudkliare.
For 99 SEK you can buy what looks to be a plastic handle attached to beaded tentacles. And use it to scratch your head. That’s money well spent. You know, if you don’t have fingers. Or the ability to grow fingernails. Maybe you are a nail biter with a dry itchy scalp and bad dandruff. This is the product for you.


Unfortunately for Teknikmagasinet, I do not bite my fingernails. Nor do I have dandruff. Instead, I have thin hair that was described as dead grass by my then five year old cousin. I say then because I off-ed her before her sixth birthday after her hurtful comment that still haunts me today.

That’s not true. I like little children and would never eliminate one for insulting my thinning hair. I think. Insult my facial hair… I can make no guarantees.

Welcome to Sweden. And the Orgasmatron.


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14 comments:

  1. I actually went to Teknikmagasinet to see what this thing was, it looks like a head scratcher but is in fact a head massage thing.

    The beads at the end of the tentacles make your head tickle as if you are having a orgasm, well it wasnt close to it but it really felt good, just for a while though, after that it felt like someone was holding your head

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  2. Thank Odin that Orgasmatron's not made by Husqvarna!

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  3. While you're on a roll with orgasms and such, take a look at this: http://www.masturbate-a-thon.com/

    I was tipped off by a friend of mine. They have 'interesting' sports there in Denmark. Compared to this, Orgasmatron's nothing.

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  4. @Naveed - thats some good research. Hopefully no one goes out wanting a head scratcher and instead comes home with a head massager.

    @Stu - or Ikea.

    @Smek - oh wow. I don't even know what to say.

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  5. Hej from Halland!

    Actually I was looking for a "contact me" button....'cause I wanted to send you this link:

    http://www.videosift.com/video/Naked-Swedish-Men-and-the-Dance-of-the-Crispbread

    Enjoy!

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  6. such a lateral thinker!

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  7. Don't dismiss the orgasmatron before you've tried it. It's quite a sensation, at first. But it gets old quickly.

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  8. You definitely do not buy this thing just to scratch your head as the name would have you believe... EYE ROLL!!

    I was introduced to the Orgasmatron several years ago when I first met my husband- who is SWEDISH- coincidence??- I don't think so!!! He bought one as a gift for our gracious hosts in Australia, and I think even those convicts were a little taken aback by the apparent fixation and frivolity of the Swedish attitude towards anything having to do with orgasms. They were kind of shocked, but after their subsequent Head-gasms they were all about it. They showed their friends. It was always awkward for a minute.

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  9. We have one of those scratchers, and it feels better than you might first think. It really is orgasmic, at least if someone else is doing it for you. If you do it yourself it doesn't feel nearly as good, and as some already pointed out, it just feels good for a while when used on yourself.

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  10. @CrackerJack Girl – hello hello! You can email me at aswedishamericaninsweden at gmail dot com.

    And thanks for the link. That’s pretty glorious!

    @Glamourous – I suppose.

    @anonymous – youre right, I was quick to judge the Orgasmatron.

    @Rachael – I love that this thing is being brought to people as a gift around the world. If only for the awkwardness of being given something called an Orgasmatron.

    @anonymous – I have way too many dirty jokes running through my head for that one.

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  11. It's been known to sprout every now and again.

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  12. well, lets not get too carried away.

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